All Things

“All things have real reasons for their existence. It follows then, that all things have real solutions for their disappearance.”  Tom Wright A Course In Shamanism.

                Enough of my healing clients come to me to warrant this important real reasons blog. What will be focused upon are depression, and its companion component, resignation. Anything else can be substituted for these two, if they are things you desire to disappear from your life. In the human experience, these two happen to be the most prevalent difficult ones.

I can’t tell you where they ‘come from’ or ‘how to get rid of them’ for two reasons. One, each person has their reactions to their real life situations that can manifest as depression or resignation. Whatever those circumstances might be. What you can trust, is that how you feel, regardless of source, is always valid. Period. Secondly, neither depression nor resignation can ‘be gotten rid of’ but rather, what happens with an effective healing, is that the energy devoted to maintaining them both is diminished over time. With an effective practice it even feels like the depression and resignation have disappeared. Again, valid feelings.

And now the next question. How does one do this? There is only one thing to say, ‘you have to get in it, to get out of it.’ In other words, give yourself a break. Do what examination you feel necessary, but don’t get hooked on the reasons. Instead, allow yourself to really feel what you are feeling. This isn’t an intellectual knowing, because we all know in our minds what’s going on, whether we realize it or not. This is a ‘feel what you are feeling’ invitation. And humans don’t often allow themselves to do that.

Feel what you are feeling, and simply just do that. No other actions are necessary in the beginning. Because once you really feel what you are feeling and really dive into it, there are two things realized from doing this. One, if it is you who are feeling something, then the you who is feeling has to be bigger than what you are feeling. You are the container, and the container has to be bigger than that which it holds. You are that powerful, that expansive. Given you are, then you also have the power to also hold other choices that will be more nurturing for you. Choices that are made in response to, rather than in reaction to, the reasons for your depression or resignation. Choices made ‘in response to’ are made by the heart. Choices made ‘in reaction to’ are made by Mind. One is interested in your well-being, the other in something altogether different. In order to have an effective jump-off point in order to do that choosing, it has to be solid, and with allowing yourself to feel your feelings, the only solid starting place is to feel them. This is always the place to start, right in the heart.

No judgement, though you will judge, no extra reactions, though you will have all manner of thoughts in reaction to feeling depressed. Again, give yourself a break, and allow. Eventually, in whatever time it takes, you will begin to climb up the ladder of feelings until you get to acceptance of what is. Why do this? Because what is, already is. Nothing can be done about that. Once you are there at acceptance, it’s much easier to turn your energy around and focus on what brings you joy. But until you are there, you are not there, so the invitation is to give yourself a break. It will take what time it does.

It took me three years, with all of my training, to go through the five stages of grief Elizabeth Kubler Ross talks about, until I got to a place of acceptance of my son’s choice not to communicate with me at this time. This was not easy. All manner of thoughts came up in that time, with the most important aspect of it being, I had to keep myself from reacting to those reactions, in order to maintain my well-being. I could not keep myself from having negative thoughts, but I could keep myself from listening to them. They were not nurturing to say the least. So it is important to eat right, sleep enough, and do whatever you need to do to be nurturing to yourself. In the middle of depression, I know it’s hard to do that. I get it. But you have to. It cannot be said simpler than that. You have to.

The companion component of resignation, makes it hard while depressed to take action. So be it. It is hard. That hardness is diminished as you go through the stages. I invite you to be encouraged by that fact. That there are stages, that you can get through them, and that there is resolution. I know, I have been there.

The invitation is to allow. Allow. Allow. Allow yourself to feel, and the message your depression is trying to get you to understand and receive will come through. Usually, it’s ‘let go, and let Source. Just trust.’ Because in situations when you feel scarily depressed, and that seem hopeless, it is you who need to bring hope to yourself. Because it is only you who can do that. And when you do, the process begins to diminish in scariness. One step at a time, one nurturing act at a time.

This does not imply nor mean that what you are depressed about will shift because you have shifted. It may, it may not. It’s not even important. What’s important, is how you treat yourself all along the way. How you nurture yourself, especially when you are feeling bad. And sometimes that means to seek support. By all means do so if that is what you require to be well. Do whatever works for you. For you. All that nurtures you is valid.

With the most nurturing act I know of, being to do The Loving Process© over and over and over again. Even when Mind ridicules you for doing so, and even when mind floods you with fear and doubts as soon as you begin to have small successes. And It will. Especially at those times when you get a lot closer to being well enough to ignore it. Especially then! The invitation is to continue to do The Loving Process© because nothing you will ever do in your life is as important to you as letting out the unconditional love you have for yourself that is already there inside of you, so that you can experience it. Nothing.

It is the experience of freedom itself.

With love, Tom Wright.