Relationships: To Heal Or Conceal

We are confused about relationships, aren’t we? The person we are with, they never make us angry. All that they ever, and I mean ever, do, is to trigger the anger that’s already inside of us, just waiting to be healed. Our inner souls want to be healed, so what do we subconsciously do? We pick those who will trigger us the most. Because you cannot heal what isn’t revealed, and boy are they good at this revealing stuff. Most of us resent our partners for being so good at supporting us to heal. Then what? We use that resentment as the reason we want to leave them. But again, that resentment wasn’t something they ‘made us feel’ they simply triggered our own already existing resentment.

                Now some would say ‘well, what about that abusive partner? I should stay with them, because they are helping me to heal?’ Certainly not. Don’t stay with anyone who abuses you emotionally, physically, or spiritually. With the irony being, even though they are merely triggering what’s there inside of you already, your standing up for your own well-being and leaving an abuser is part of your healing process. You see, whatever abuse we attract to us, is representative of the abuse we endured as children in whatever way we endured it, and so we seek it out again in order to shed the light on it, and heal. But all we need is that recognition, not repetition. And that’s a hard lesson to learn when the trauma we endured has formed addictive behaviors inside us, that seek not to heal, but to conceal. To shy away from the pain of what revealing our initial trauma felt like.

                Yet until we passionately confront that pain and allow ourselves to feel all of it, it won’t heal. It will be a stuck energy inside us that keeps on pushing us to do things we don’t really want to do. Drink too much, seek inappropriate partners not interested in our well-being, over-eat, and so on. All masking behaviors. All denial triggers. All addictive responses to the avoidance of the pain felt from trauma. Now do we need to do this feeling of past pain all at once? Most certainly not. We do it in stages, because if we did it all at once, it would overwhelm us. So the invitation is to give yourself a break. Please allow yourself the gift of time for your healing. Breakthroughs and instant realizations may happen and they are powerful, but the real work happens day, by day, by day, over time. The real work of healing and getting in touch with something that also exists right beside your pain and trauma: Your wholeness.

                Because you are already whole, complete, and powerful. We never ‘add’ power to ourselves, we simply keep on revealing what’s already there. There isn’t a thing, not one thing, you need to add, fix, change, modify, or impact whatsoever, about your internal God being. It is whole, complete, and intact, just as it is. What we do is to slowly over time, keep on getting all the junk blocking that experience off of it, so that we can allow our already existing light to shine.

                And how bright you are.

                Hence, the true value of doing The Loving Process© over, and over, and over, again, over time. Through doing it, the light inside of you burns away all of the little darknesses you have accumulated over time, at times in your life when you did not know what you now know. So now you know, so now you go! Nice job, by the way. Nice job, indeed!

                Love and Light, Tom.